Sunday, November 27, 2005

Bhar-JAVA!!!

My name's all messed up, here in US :). Was the first week around, and it was time for an apartment hunt. I was at the rental office accompanied by an old friend, who was generously helping me settle down. Not so surprisingly, I found myself filling the lease document and my married friend was busy flirting with the hot clerk. Once I handed over the filled-out form to the office manager, she reads out my name loud, "Bhar-JAVA". At this very instant, my friend turns back fast with a baffled look on his face, but manages to supress his urge to ask me something, until we headed out.

The moment, we were out, he asks me, "How on earth did she know that you worked in JAVA?". Now, it was my turn to put on the puzzled look and then go on to explain that the letter 'G' in my first name was pronounced like in 'George' instead of 'G' in the word 'Go'. With the halo appearing over his head, I assumed that he finally got it...PHEW!

I was later thinking to myself, "How the hell did he miss introducing himself as Manohar-Mainframe?....Damn!".

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Wassup, dawg?

People...Language...how different can they get? Are they different at all? Well, I certainly thought they were, once. These days, I've started finding similarities and that to...to the very surprising levels. Let me give you an instance...

I am addicted to the brother man's dialogue which goes like, "Wassup, dawg?". That actually, in the good sense just means, "How are you doing, pal?". Well, I went to Florida a few months back to meet an ex-roommate from Bangalore. And, I met my friend at the airport and the first thing, he said, "Eppidi ra irrukke, naaye?"...and that my dawg...translates exactly to "Wassup, dawg?", isn't it?

Or is it that I am watching a little too much of Joey in Friends? :-)

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Onsite bhejne mein, tumhara kya jhaatha hai...?

Back in the good old days with friends at work in Bangalore --- Every one of us (dumb) were eager and expecting to get our 'seats' to be seated in US and make the quick green buck. As it quite commonly happens across the world, the management (dumber) felt there was no immediate need for people to get such an opportunity. And...yada yada yada...so it went, the dumb's were low in morale and were looking to vent it out at the dumber's some-damn-how.

Ah...perfect scenario...a party...an evening get-together because the client (dumbest) just arrived....and the best part for most of the dumbs'....booze!!! Pretending to be drunk, one of the dumb smarty pants went to 'the dumber'...ahem...put his hands around 'the man' and said ...

"Angdaayi woh lethi hain, dum mera nikhla jhaatha hai..."
(dumb: abey..wah...wah...bol)
(dumber: haan...wah wah!! wah wah!!)
"Angdaayi woh lethi hain, dum mera nikhla jhaatha hai..."
.
.
.
"Abey...saale...onsite bhejne mein, tumhara kya jhaatha hai?"

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Depends on how you PROJECT it!!!

It sure depends on how you project it!!! - Well, that was the conclusion after a much heated debate with one of my colleagues. Been thinking about it, because if that statement is true, then it means it does not matter what you do/have, but all, just on how you "project" it. Hmmm... I guess it is true...well, I recall a very funny incident...

One of my close buddies owns a very old bike, well, I would rather call it some machinery from a junk yard on wheels (he is sure gonna kick my butt). He calls it the '69 JAWA...well, 69 is uh, hmm, let me not get there... and he also has plans of turning into a multi-millionnaire by selling the metal scrap in an auction in the near future. Makes me wanna say, "he is much weirder than I am!...what was I thinking about?". Alright, one fine day, he was talking to a gentleman from Germany about automobiles..duh..yes! The German was talking about the legendary BMW and its history and also about some other hi-profile jet engines. Basically, as I understand, it was all about power engines. And here...here...ding ding ding, my man got to speak now and said, "I have a Czech automobile, a '69 JAWA, a desert rider, consumes the same amount of gas like a car (I was sure he was tempted to say, "a 4 cylinder engine"...if you know what I mean..LOL)". Oh yeah..you are damn right, he said it!..and it was sure was the brutal truth...I mean, the gas consumption part. But on the whole, he made it sound like an amazing hi-powered well equipped Harley!

The result of the conversation - "An impressed German!".....hmmmph!!!

And that's exactly how you PROJECT, Pete!!!

Or should I say, I projected differently about the whole bike thing? :-)

PS: My pal loves his bike a lot. If I don't find a girl soon, I intend to love his bike too... completing an awesome bollywood love triangle and spice up my life. Oh Yes...you got that right...I have a SAD life :-)...

Monday, October 10, 2005

I am just ... Bhargav Chit

It was the first week at work in US - I was told that a help desk guy would call me regarding an issue in one of the applications. The conversation went something like this...

Guy: Hello. Am I talking to "Bergeoav Sheet"
Me: (Whoa...shit??...did I hear shit?) Yes. Hello!
Guy: Did I say that right? How do you pronounce your name?
Me: (Proudly...clearing my throat) Bhargav Chit.
Guy: "Bhergeov Chit"
Me: (Thank you...gawd...He missed shit...phew!!) Yes, that's close.
Guy: Are you from Asia?
Me:
(How the f**k did he know? My accent maybe...hmm!!!)Yes, from India.
Guy: Asian names are so tough to say. I find it difficult most of the times.
Me: Hmm...May I know your name, please?
Guy: Oh, I'm sorry. I am Oleg Ovastrozhetskii.
Me: (Yeah baby...now thats what I'm talkin about...an easy name) Hello Oleg.
:-)

Thursday, October 06, 2005

$2,69...Nice Bargain??

Was driving by a neighbouring gas station....saw $2,69 for a gallon and for a moment, I thought, "Ah...a nice bargain, no?"...... moments later...I realised....duh..ppuhhleeaaze...it was $2,03 a couplaa months back!!! HAIL KATRINA!!!